As I kid, I always found the hazard light switch fascinating. Anyone who is well versed with handling a floppy drive will remember a tiny orange coloured switch, peeping out from the dashboard, pestering you to have a go at it.
It was always left alone; the steering wheel and its cronies got all the attention. It was always ready; like the firefighter who awaits the event of a burning house to perform his duty. It was supposed to be a guardian when all things failed. It was him you relied on to save your car's behind from the immense momentum of a truck armed to the teeth with gas cylinders.
Times change; the floppy drive is no more and the hazard light switch has been extremely busy. Indian traffic has always been dangerous according to people who aren't from India. If they had their way, they'd drive around with the hazard lights on all the time.
We've found some unique uses for the hazard light switch. Somewhere down the line, people used the switch and realized that it turns both the indicators on. Some people interpret this to their advantage and use it to indicate that they're going straight. Which I find mildly amusing. What would they do if they wanted to go straight in a line, backwards? I guess the 8-bit musical melody is indicative of that scenario, when used along with the hazard lights.
Bangalore has many narrow streets and limited space for parking. Another scenario where our protector is called upon is when there's no space to park. The owner of the car would like to pick up some donuts or diapers, which is obviously a huge emergency. I saw this live the other day; a grown 40 year old man was guiding traffic past his inappropriately parked car and he had the look of satisfaction that I've only seen on Tendulkar's face after he scores a century. All because the hazard lights were on; for it's the modern day Father who forgives you for all your sins.
It seems to me that turning the hazard light switch on is equivalent to doing the entire society a huge favour. Apart from letting others know that you're a hazard to the world, you're also showcasing your ineptitude so that future mothers stay away from you and your genes aren't propagated further. If the Fuhrer was alive he'd send the gestapo to come pick you up for a little discussion. They'd arrive with their hazard lights on, of course.
The protector has now degenerated into a massive being at the center of the dashboard. He has now become the equivalent of a buzzer on a reality show. Papa taps on it when he spills coffee, Momma calls on him when she needs a pair of tissues. All the kids ever ask is, "What does this button do?".
All he really wants is to be away from the paparazzi and to be called on when the circumstances are dire. And he cries every night, wishing that people would see him for who he actually is.
It was always left alone; the steering wheel and its cronies got all the attention. It was always ready; like the firefighter who awaits the event of a burning house to perform his duty. It was supposed to be a guardian when all things failed. It was him you relied on to save your car's behind from the immense momentum of a truck armed to the teeth with gas cylinders.
Times change; the floppy drive is no more and the hazard light switch has been extremely busy. Indian traffic has always been dangerous according to people who aren't from India. If they had their way, they'd drive around with the hazard lights on all the time.
We've found some unique uses for the hazard light switch. Somewhere down the line, people used the switch and realized that it turns both the indicators on. Some people interpret this to their advantage and use it to indicate that they're going straight. Which I find mildly amusing. What would they do if they wanted to go straight in a line, backwards? I guess the 8-bit musical melody is indicative of that scenario, when used along with the hazard lights.
Bangalore has many narrow streets and limited space for parking. Another scenario where our protector is called upon is when there's no space to park. The owner of the car would like to pick up some donuts or diapers, which is obviously a huge emergency. I saw this live the other day; a grown 40 year old man was guiding traffic past his inappropriately parked car and he had the look of satisfaction that I've only seen on Tendulkar's face after he scores a century. All because the hazard lights were on; for it's the modern day Father who forgives you for all your sins.
It seems to me that turning the hazard light switch on is equivalent to doing the entire society a huge favour. Apart from letting others know that you're a hazard to the world, you're also showcasing your ineptitude so that future mothers stay away from you and your genes aren't propagated further. If the Fuhrer was alive he'd send the gestapo to come pick you up for a little discussion. They'd arrive with their hazard lights on, of course.
The protector has now degenerated into a massive being at the center of the dashboard. He has now become the equivalent of a buzzer on a reality show. Papa taps on it when he spills coffee, Momma calls on him when she needs a pair of tissues. All the kids ever ask is, "What does this button do?".
All he really wants is to be away from the paparazzi and to be called on when the circumstances are dire. And he cries every night, wishing that people would see him for who he actually is.
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