If I had to burn one car, that would be...

...The Toyota Qualis.

For those of you who know me, you will know how much I hate the Toyota Innova. Simply because that car is the solution to a failed condom. Or two. Now, after eight long years I have to retract that statement; the Toyota Qualis is the worst car to ever grace the Indian roads.

Not only can it accommodate as many people as the Innova; it also has a spare tyre under the chassis. I mean, who in the name of the lord would put a tyre under the chassis. The engineering head was either sadistic, or was a rodent manifestation of a human being.

You might appreciate me for my keen sense of observation. I will digress and say that this observation was forced on me after I followed the damn thing for about 20 minutes while I was on my way through the cantonment. That car is so fat, yo momma stands no chance. Seriously. I had no chance to go past it.

Considering the nature of Indian roads, a flat tyre is quite common probability. What's more common is the spare collecting dust and grime, and a chance to quite literally taste mother earth as you undo the nuts of the tyre.

I understand that getting your hands dirty is necessary but that doesn't mean that you set the driver up for it. I hope all the political parties are listening; the next time you wanna protest, please find a spare Innova and I'll lose all my centrist inhibitions. Are you listening folks?

Till next time, Cheers!

Path Of The Pigeons

One could interpret that the path of a pigeon is circular, for they do return to their nests once they're done foraging for worms. Migratory birds go back to a place for mating and breeding.

I've tried to recreate and render a similar feel into it, although I cannot say that all of it was conscious. Some thoughts are understood and implied and happen spontaneously.

This one's called Path Of The Pigeons and I hope you enjoy it.

The Misunderstood Hazard Light Switch

As I kid, I always found the hazard light switch fascinating. Anyone who is well versed with handling a floppy drive will remember a tiny orange coloured switch, peeping out from the dashboard, pestering you to have a go at it.

It was always left alone; the steering wheel and its cronies got all the attention. It was always ready; like the firefighter who awaits the event of a burning house to perform his duty. It was supposed to be a guardian when all things failed. It was him you relied on to save your car's behind from the immense momentum of a truck armed to the teeth with gas cylinders.

Times change; the floppy drive is no more and the hazard light switch has been extremely busy. Indian traffic has always been dangerous according to people who aren't from India. If they had their way, they'd drive around with the hazard lights on all the time.

We've found some unique uses for the hazard light switch. Somewhere down the line, people used the switch and realized that it turns both the indicators on. Some people interpret this to their advantage and use it to indicate that they're going straight. Which I find mildly amusing. What would they do if they wanted to go straight in a line, backwards? I guess the 8-bit musical melody is indicative of that scenario, when used along with the hazard lights.

Bangalore has many narrow streets and limited space for parking. Another scenario where our protector is called upon is when there's no space to park. The owner of the car would like to pick up some donuts or diapers, which is obviously a huge emergency. I saw this live the other day; a grown 40 year old man was guiding traffic past his inappropriately parked car and he had the look of satisfaction that I've only seen on Tendulkar's face after he scores a century. All because the hazard lights were on; for it's the modern day Father who forgives you for all your sins.

It seems to me that turning the hazard light switch on is equivalent to doing the entire society a huge favour. Apart from letting others know that you're a hazard to the world, you're also showcasing your ineptitude so that future mothers stay away from you and your genes aren't propagated further. If the Fuhrer was alive he'd send the gestapo to come pick you up for a little discussion. They'd arrive with their hazard lights on, of course.

The protector has now degenerated into a massive being at the center of the dashboard. He has now become the equivalent of a buzzer on a reality show. Papa taps on it when he spills coffee, Momma calls on him when she needs a pair of tissues. All the kids ever ask is, "What does this button do?".

All he really wants is to be away from the paparazzi and to be called on when the circumstances are dire. And he cries every night, wishing that people would see him for who he actually is.

Friday Night's Drinkin' To: Groove Armada

Groove Armada; good uplifting music. Cheers!

Artist: Groove Armada

Track: Lovebox

Friday Night's Drinkin' To: Sting

I'm not sure about you, but I definitely took Sting for granted. I remembered him as the chap who videographed himself while an Egyptian sang complex melodies. I did know he was part of The Police, but a couple of years ago, those songs seemed trivial. The only track I really respected was It's probably me, which he performed with Eric Clapton on the guitar.

All that changed a couple of weeks ago because of a strange set of events. 

Someone mentioned that Robert Downey Jr. sings well, and that he performed for Sting's 60th birthday concert. One thing led to another and soon I was hooked onto Brand New Day, which he performed with Stevie Wonder on the harmonica. 

I believe that the song which takes the cake is A Thousand Years. The emphasis seems to be on the lyrics while a simple melody leads you through the song. The brain is fooled by a well timed and a well placed bassline. If you really want to appreciate the beauty of a well written track, look no further.

Friday Night's Drinkin' To: Emancipator

I stumbled across this Music Producer on SoundCloud. His music is consistently good and deserves a listen. Please do check his other stuff out.

This track is called Jetstream, and I absolutely love the bassline.

Cheers!

Friday Night's Drinkin' To: John Coltrane

My Favourite (Things) indeed.